Monday, March 21, 2011

Major brats and moving out.

I am finally moving out to boarding! :D I'm pretty depressed but happy at the same time so its like a real mix of emotions. BUT, I am gonna have fun decorating my room HAHA. Its gonna be awesome to be able to like freely take my friends to my room and not need to ask other people etc. It would just be like, LETS GO TO MY ROOM! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Boarding room's are really tiny though but I got a feeling I'm gonna have alot alot of things thrown at me in boarding. And I have to be really smart about it, but nevertheless God will always always be there with me :D And whatthefyuck I'm actually really worried about something HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Inbox me if you wanna know what but yeah I'm actually quite worried :/

And yes everyone in Malaysia, I'm eating well, sleeping well and making friends well. Some people say that I'm awkward around people until they get to know like the real me anyway -.- So stop saying that I'm bloody awkward around people I'm just like that until you get to know me, then I'll make you eat your words, ask anyone in Malaysia/UK ;P I'm quite bloody happy now I had this breakthrough-ish thing tonight and LIFE DOESN'T REALLY SUCK ANYMORE. Just got to have the trust that I'm gonna get through this somehow.

I'm just gonna be like neutral about everything now and not fall hastily into anything. And by the way, totally out of topic but you disgust me. People in Japan, Africa, everywhere are dying of poverty. You're so blessed, so damn blessed to be born with a major silver spoon in your mouth and you're fucking throwing money around like it doesn't matter?! Honestly you disgust me so much. You're such a major brat that just uses money to settle everything. Money cannot buy you real friends. So all the friends that are around you because you bloody pay them to be around you. You make me sick. People like you don't deserve all this.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

What are you doing? "Uhm does being nearly run over count?"

Yes, I nearly got run over..... again. This time i could have died in just the matter of seconds. I know it's not funny but YAAAYYYY IM ALIVE. HAHAHAHAHAHHA. I. AM. ALIVE. The last time I went to church I got disturbed by racist betches, and now I nearly died. I fixed the racist people problem by moving like right next to church. literally. But I still have to bus/walk home for the next 3 weeks because I'm not moving in until then. -.- BUT YEAH IM SO GLAD I DIDN'T DIE. HAHAHAHAH.

It went down like this.
I was walking to the busstop with my friend who was accompanying me and there was no cars at the road. so I crossed. my friend suddenly shouted BE CAREFUL LOOK TO YOUR LEFT, YOUR LEFT. He was shouting in cantonese over and over again but I didn't know what left was in Cantonese, I stopped and looked right, there were no cars, so I just continued running like it would save my life. And it did.While I was running from the corner of my eye I saw a car dangerously close so I picked up my pace and ran faster and I was like shouting in my mind I CAN MAKE THIS I CAN MAKE THIS, when I reached the kerb I felt the wind of a car whiz past me. I was SO RELIEVED that I didn't die. I started jumping around and laughing like a mad person because I was so damn relieved that I didn't get run over by that stupid car. My friend walked over and was like WTF I WAS SO SCARED. I WAS SO PREPARED TO BRING YOU TO THE HOSPITAL. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

And when I told my friend's their like, told you not to go to church. Should have came with us to go and have fun -.- I'm still glad I turned away their offer anyway. I cant help it but HECKYEAHHHHH IM ALIVE.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

I'm going to smell like alcohol and cigarettes.

You're way too young to be broken,
You're way too young to fall apart,
You're way too young to play these games,
You know you're way too young to have someone lie to you,
But you better start.

I am young,
I drink and I fight and I love just because I'm numb,
Sleeping in a bed and waking up outside
At least I can say I tried
Think I found a message in a bottle
It says “Drink me, drown your sorrows."

Drink the poison lightly
Cuz' there are deeper and darker things than you
I know, cuz' I've been there too
I know it might seem frightening
To have the world fall apart right under your shoes
Trust me, you'll make it through, because I'm here too.

Friday, March 4, 2011

If life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show it 1000 reasons to smile.

Adrian Wong,
Hi whore, Thanks for making me smile when I was depressed and getting eye damage cuz of me LOL. If I were in Malaysia I would slap you I swear because of the last thing you just told me. But I'm too far away. So thanks anyway you manwhore. :P

Oh and Seng hoo!! Thanks for using my pictures! Means alot! :)

#1. I'm going to stop swearing.

SLAP me whenever I swear. Thanks.

You know when your life feels like its a mess?

I feel like that now. I seriously do not know what the fuck is wrong with me. Someone please come and tell me. I don't really be sad here. Because if I really do be sad, I dont really have friend's to go to. Well I do, but their all like in London. So its kinda sad sometimes, so I just dont allow myself to feel any depression whatsoever. And tonight, I dont know why, all my doubts and fears just came rushing out. Everything I kept pushing down. And I didn't really know what to do, so I just sat there zoned out. Like What if I disappoint my parents?! What if I do stuff that I'm still illegal to?! What if... I really. really don't know. And suddenly my life just felt totally pointless. Like why the hell am I even doing man. What the fuck will happen to me? Will I just be like lost and wandering the whole time, or get swallowed and give in to peer pressure. I don't really know who I am anymore. Fuck it man I totally lost what I used to be. And I want it back. So badly. I totally just felt like a fucking failure. I fail in life.

I don't want to be what the world wants me to be. Eventhough I'm slowly falling into temptation, I'm really glad that I didn't leave to go drinking and partying when there was nobody to open the doors to youth and I was just standing there in the cold. Some kinda accomplishment perhaps. But I really don't know what to do. Heck I don't even know what to do tomorrow ._. FML. I give the fuck up. I'm just gonna let life win until I stop being so depressed and shit.

I need a really big hug :(


I'm blogging from my phone now ;) Blackberry pwns :D in the longass bus ride to school. anyww, I'm actually quite scared, terrified in fact. Scared is an understatement -.- TODAY's Friday! FRIDAY. Time is passing SO quicky! Every week I say the same thing to myself "omg its effing Friday already?!" In Malaysia its like why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?! Probably its cuz of my thinking, its like omg its Monday -.- but then I think, oh wait, no, its going to be And here its exactly the opposite so, wtf?! Its like I"'ve been here for 2 months now! And a few days hahahaha. And every week passes so quickly in my world, and sooner or later its gonna be october and I'll have to sit for my iGCSE's. :( I realized that wow, time is PRECIOUSSSSS. Once it runs away there's no getting that back. Probably didn't learn that in Malaysia because there's too many distractions for me to study LOL. My attention span is like a burning match. Attention lapses :P until the point where I pay attention in class but my face doesn't look like I am and I get shit from teachers. -.-
Its like "OOOHHH SHINY" Concentration Gone. I'm a very easy distracted person. Bahahahah. So I must find someway to make time not move so quickly LOL.

Exams are up in 21 days. Which is like, 3 weeks. Hopefully I can cover everything :(. I have really cute chemistry and bio note books which all the notes I wrote myself. And wtf I lost my old bio notebook. I think someone stole it cuz I lost my locker key. Enjoy my book you fucktard. I hope you think of how long I used to write my notes and made it look so interesting and pretty. Bitch.