Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I love Photobooth.


:) Life's too short to frown, so smile!

My pink Mac!

I got a Macbook Pro like few days ago and I'm LOVING ITTTT.

GO MAC AND DONT GO BACK!

I pimped it PINK ;) My bimbo colour baby!

Sexy right ;)

My pink one and Eugene's blue one!

xxx


HBC '10

Okkkkkkkayyy. I know I've been gone for damn long. I've been extremely lazyyyy and whatever I want to blog gets outt of my mind when I sit in front of my computer. LOL. anyway! As a camper > now helper in HBC! I remember I used to look reallll foward to HBC as a kid and now instead of calling people jie jie people call me jie jie :) It all seems so surreal! I'll just let pictures do the talking ;)

The kids!

Baby Lucas :)

She has down syndrome but it isnt obvious at all. So cute when kid's worship :)

KINKY BUDDY.




Me and Huey Ern!! :)

Fooling around when the rest of the people are washing dishes LOL.
Lou Porrrr :)

Preparing the rubber band game for the lil kids. LOL.
Tyler! Damn naughty boy -.-

Peggy I swear you are so cute



Little kids are incredibly cute when they pray.

I pray that God would touch the lives of these kids, that kid's who dont know God can get to know him through HBC, like how I did when I was still a kid :)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Tonight I've fallen and I cant get up. Never thought not having you here now would hurt so much.

I remember the times we spent together, all those drives, we had a million questions all about our lives.

I remember the days we spent together they were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming, except we always woke up.
Never thought not having you here now would hurt so much.

I remember the time you told me about when you were eight and all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait. I remember the car you were last seen in and the games we would play and stayed out way too late.

I remember the time you sat and told me about your Jesus, and how not to look back even if no one believes us. When it hurts so bad, sometimes, not having you here.

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up, I need your loving hands to come and pick me up and every night I miss you. I can just look up and know the stars are holding you tonight.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Trust is like a paper, once it's crumpled it cant be perfect.

I never trusted anyone until I met you. I never did and never intended to. I thought that if I didnt, then nobody could hurt me. I feel like I'm in a shell where nobody can touch me. I'll be...immortal. I used to laugh at people who goes through this kinda stuff. Then you came along. :/ You showed me, how it felt like to have all your trust on someone. I trusted you with my life man. I believed if I got run down by a car you would jump out and push me away, like how I would have done for you. I dont really open up much. Damn alot of people ask me why I dont open up much i just say I'm that kinda person. Actually theres alot of stuff that even my closest friends don't know about me. Because I lack trust.

No expectations = No disappointments.

Looking back, I wonder, what happened to us? What happened to me and you. We used to be unstoppable man. And then stuff started happening, our trust started crumpling, bit by bit, and inside it killed me, bit by bit. Until now, all this pain have made me numb. I forbade myself to feel the pain anymore. That trust you broke, that trust that taught me how to trust that you took away. Took away my trust for everyone else too. It took away my trust for everyone else too. Well truth is everyone's gonna hurt you. You just have to find those worth fighting for. But isnt it better if people just built walls around their heart, so nothing can penetrate in so you wouldn't feel any pain in the first place...? Well that was what I used to do. Before I met you I trusted nobody. I'm serious. You taught me how to trust and now.......ugh.


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Tch, you dont think I care?!

Seriously, you really dont think I care do you. I'm sorry for raising my voice. It almost killed me when the one I was quarelling with was you. But if I dont have your trust, what for we continue on like this? Futile efforts to make us better. I went out of my way to do everything I can for you. I protected you, I took all the blame, all I did I had you in my mind. And this is how you repay me. That you say I dont care? How am I supposed to care when you dont tell me things. I know you dont want me to worry. I understand that. I know that you dont want me to see you when you cry because of over worrying. but why just why are you becoming more and more distant. Why are we continue-ing on like this if you are so.....stubborn. More and more faraway from me. We dont even talk on the phone anymore dammit. Ugh. Above it all I really do still care for you. I know you do too, I see it in your eyes. I'm sorry for raising my voice, I'm sorry for not controlling my temper. You have no idea how much it killed me when I saw your face tear streaked and hurt. But if we're going to be like this, I guess its better for you, if I just left.

Btw, I still love you.

Monday, November 22, 2010

I know it hurts...

The tears you've kept in, the tears you keep fighting back, the pain you've kept bottle-ed up, the time you wet my shirt from your tears, the time you was so stupid as to hurt yourself. Dont. Dont do all this to yourself any more. I always thought you were really strong, until that day when I saw you cry, until that day where my shirt was all wet because of your tears, until that day when I saw your vulnerable side. Just let it all out and the pain will go away eventually. I'll be by you, promise. Always, until you throw me away. I'll be beside you.



Iloveyou :)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Japan (An extremely lazy post)

Okay I really dont want to go all wordsy and shit. Because I'm too lazy to, LOL. So I'll just let the photos go the talking. Its Autumn in Japan so allthe leaves are like red/orange/yellow. damn pretty. I'm too lazy to post up pictures on my blog either so go check it out on Facebook :) All taken by MUAA. Heres a few,

Mount Fuji.

Autumn colours!

That mountain again.

More autumn colours! :D

Okay since its my 3rd post today ( damn rajin for you all tau ) I'm too lazy so I'm gna go now. Ask me or CHECK MY FACEBOOK for Jap pictures. The albums called "Autumn colours in the city of the rising sun" :)

Byeeeeeeeee. Much lovee! xx

Life is your playground.

Dreams are like the paints of a great artist,
Your dreams are your colours,
The world your canvas,
And believing is the brush that converts your dreams into a masterpiece of reality.

*No, I did not steal that picture of tumblr/google. I took it myself in Japan :)

I'M BACK.

I KNOW. I KNOW. HI.(Thats my current fb profile picture btw)

Bold
I'm so so so sorry that I've been gone for so long. Because I've been to Japan. And yes, everyone, stop pestering me for updates! I'M BACK. I suddenly felt like blogging again :) Yes I've been well :) And heres finally, after long last, a normal post.

I've been missing someone alot lately. I had no idea that we would get this close, in fact, all the drama we've been through, all the shit, all the gossip, I never thought we'd ever even be close to close friends. But now all of a sudden I find great joy in talking to you, and that we're totally cool despite me being all English and you being all non English, LOL. Its rare that I get along so well with not good english speakers. And all of a sudden we both realized, hey, we really missed each other in our absence. I miss you! mwahh>

We've all been through moments. Moments where we're totally torn, moments where someone, something emotionally bashes you up. Takes your heart and throws it to the floor. I can tell you, it'll cut deeper than a knife, it would take pain to a whole new level, its much more painful than a physical scar. A scar deep inside your heart. Where some bitch just decided "hey you know what?" *stabs your heart* smiles and leaves. I've seen my friends go through this, being drunk as hell, throwing up all over the place, crying until you have no more tears left to cry, sprawling like a lifeless body, eating then throwing up then eating more and throwing up more again, looping depressing songs, singing depressing songs into the dark, just hoping that one day you would get over him/her, or better still, be in love again. Well, it hurts. It hurts to see friends like that. Yes its living hell, but we'll walk through it together. Just stay strong and please don't do anything stupid. Because you'll look back and laugh one day, just not now, and please realize, the pain will go away. It takes time, but it will go away. I promise.

Recently, I've been very worried. Worried about just about how everything would turn out. And I pray that everything would turn out okay :/ Because I really really sincerely hope, everything would turn out fine. I've so much on my plate now, IGCSE, visas, time management, ect. And I just feel so lost. Utterly, just... blind. Aih. I wish I could just chill all day. I wish life wasn't complicated. I wish I didn't have to deal with this shit. But I chose this path, and I'll continue on. And somehow... everything would turn out okay.

And something else. Its back. again. -.- Its back its back its back its back. I dont know why, but its back :( Like how it always starts..... and the endings never really pretty. And I'm trying my bestersherest to not embark on this anymore.

THIS POST JUST GOT REALLY WORDSY. So I'm leaving it there! Baii loveeesss ;)

P.S: I dont know why theres a random white box there and the fonts messed. -.- my blogs being retarded.

Friday, November 5, 2010

I know, I know

I've been gone for awhile. Been really busy with visa and exams. Okay so heres some stuff to fill you guys in while I'm gone.

Everyone agrees you're annoying and it was bliss when you're gone.

I'm going to Japan tomorrow.

I hate you.

I miss you.

Dont change who you are.

Visa's a pain in the ass.

My visa agent is a pain in the ass too.

I'm getting fatter and my mums not pleased because I'm losing my body. LOL.

I shall end with this picture of me chugging down some ;)

Try hard, attention whore.

Embrace what you are. If you're pretty or not pretty, its God given. Why are you so desprate and trying so hard to look pretty? You may not be the type who can make boy's head's turn when you walk past but you still look good. How could people love you if you dont even love yourself? Why are you trying to change the facts about yourself? Nobody's going to love you unless you love yourself.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Flirt! Lesbian! Clinton!

Clinton: Whatchu doing?
Me: Talking to someone.
Clinton: Boy?
Me: Maybe.
Clinton: FLIRT!
Me: Omg its a girl okay.
Clinton: LESBIAN.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. this makes me laugh everytime I think about it. So I can only talk to pondans la! :P

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I want you in my arms, on my lips now. :)

Because when I think of that, it makes everything okay.

Ever since I saw you the other day, you never left my mind. I swear. You're so impossibly cute. You'r lips were so sexy. Your smile took my breath away. I wish you were here now :)

Girl......

LOL.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Never got the whole in love thing. And deep inside my tears will drown.




I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
'cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed?
'cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I should've never let you hold me baby
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart

Can't figure out how you stole my heart

How did I get here with you, I'll never know?
I never meant to let it get so, personal
And after all I tried to do, to stay away from loving you
I'm broken hearted and I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

P.S :
This post wasn't meant to be emo whatsoever. But the lyrics really relate.
I act differently around different people. Mind you, I’m not fake. I just have my own comfort zone. That’s why I only can completely be myself when I’m with people I’m comfortable with.

Friday, October 22, 2010

The shiz.


LOL.

I guess words are a mothafucka
they can be great
or they can degrade
or even worst they can teach hate.

-Eminem.

:)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Tagged by Brandon Lye-100 truths :)

I'm too lazy to answer this on Facebook so I answered it here. :)

1. last beverage = Water
2. last phone call = Foon Zai!
3. last text message = Foon Zai!
4. last song you listened to = Mighty to save- Hillsong
5. last time you cried = hmmm..... last week I think.

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. dated someone twice = No
7. been cheated on = No
8. kissed someone & regretted it = YESSSS.
9. lost someone special = Yes :(
10. been depressed = Damn often.
11. been drunk and threw up = Ohsonearly.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Pink
13. Sky blue
14. Chrome

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)

15. Made a new friend = Quite a few.
16. Fallen out of love = Yeahhhhh.
17. Laughed until you cried = YES.
18. Met someone who changed you = Yes :)
19. Found out who your true friends were = As hurtful as the process was, yes.
20. Found out someone was talking about you = YES.
21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend’s list = yeap. -.-

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life = The whole list.
24. Do you have any pets = Belle and Dora! :)
26. What did you do for your last birthday = Ate, alot.
27. What time did you wake up today = about 1pm.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = studying/watching TV/on the laptop. MULTITASKING!
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = TO FLY TO UK! ;D
30. Last time you saw your Mother = Few hours ago.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = Secrettt. ;P
32. What are you listening to right now = Mighty to save- Hillsong. (I'm looping it, awesome song! )
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = Nope, but I talked to a Jerry.
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now = Exams.
35. Most visited webpage = Facebook.
37. Nicknames = +2, snow white
38. Relationship Status = Single ;)
39. Zodiac Sign = Cancer.
40. He or She? = He or She. I'm okay with both. ;)
41. Elementary? = SMJK (C) Chung Shan.
42. High School = SMK Ave Maria Convent.
43. College = Bellerbys College.
44. Hair color = Black with brown.
45. Long or short = Long.
4. Height = 163 cm. I WANT TO STAY THIS HEIGHT FOREVER.
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = Heheheheh.
48: What do you like about yourself? = My body, my looks.
49. Piercings = Ears.
50. Tattoos = Maybeeee.
51. Righty or lefty= Righty's pwn!

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery = When I was like.... 7 or 6.
53. First piercing = When I was 7 or 6 too.
54. First best friend = Angeline or something.
55. First sport you joined = Errrrr, forgot.
56. First vacation = Forgot -.-
58. First pair of trainers = I HAVE NO IDEA HONESTLY HOW DO I REMEMBER THIS SHIT?!

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating = Nothing
60: Drinking= Coffee
61. I’m about to = Try and study
62. Listening to = Just a dream.
63. Waiting for = Infinity.
64. Want kids? = Maybeee.
65. Get Married? = YES! ;D
66. Career? = Psychologist. But like it always changes.

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes? = Both
68. Hugs or kisses = Hugs that lead to kisses
69. Shorter or taller = Taller!
70. Older or Younger = Older.
71. Romantic or spontaneous = Can I have both?Hehe
72. Nice stomach or nice arms = Both!!
73. Sensitive or loud = Sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship = Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = A nice balance. :)

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger = No
77. Drank hard liquor = Yea.
78. Lost glasses/contacts = Nope.
79. Sex on first date: Ew. Thats just cheap.
80. flirted with a hot girl: YESSS. Hot Dayum. :P
80. Broken someone’s heart = HAHAHHAHAHAA. I refuse to answer this question. :P
81. Had your own heart broken = :(
82. Been arrested = In a game?
83. Turned someone down = Yes.
84. Cried when someone died = Yes.
85. Fallen for a friend = Yeah. :)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself = Yes
87. Miracles = Depends.
88. Love at first sight = Bullshit.
89. Heaven = Sort of.
90. Santa Claus = Ever since I was 3 I didnt belive in Santa Claus.
91. Kiss on the first date = Maybe?
92. Angels = Yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

93. Had more than one bf/gf? = Nope.
94. Is there one person you want to be with right now? = Yes. :)
95. Did you sing today? =Yeapp!
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = Nope.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = 2/3 months ago.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? = Hmmm I dont know leh.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? = Yes
100. Posting this as 100 truths? =Yes

Finally habis! 100 truths about me! ;D

Monday, October 18, 2010

You, yes you, rock.



Days will come when you don't have the strength
And all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart
They'd see too much.

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His.

Praying that you have the heart to fight
Cuz you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
But they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You're Beautiful.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Fan girl post- I WANT ZAC EFRONNNNN. :3













ONE CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH SEXY AT ONE TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. :( I WOULD GO STRAIGHT FOR ZAC. HAHHAHAA. Shit I sound like such a fangirl. ;)

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I'll tell you you're beautiful even tough you're not.

Beauty.

Because every girl deserves to be called beautiful, at least once. Its probably no secret that I go skeptical when someone says someone else is ugly. Because theres untrue. Unattractive, yes, but nobody is ugly. Nobody.

EVERY LITTLE GIRL SHOULD DESERVE TO BE CALLED PRETTY, EVEN THOUGH THEIR NOT.
-Marilyn Monroe.

And thats what I tell every girl/little girl, that their pretty. Even the less fortunate to have a normal face or a face full of acne. I tell all of them their beautiful. Because true beauty does not come from the face, it comes from the heart. :)

And true beauty, without anybody telling you youre beautiful all the times, is felt throughout the room. True beauty is a presence. True beauty is from the heart.

Monday, October 11, 2010

I hate chatbox spammers.

CarolKennedy, CindyCute, LuvlyGal, Ben, ectectect. Omfg. since when did the chatbox spammers came back to advertise their things?!! So annoying. BUZZ OFF YOU BOTS.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Random facts about me that you should know.

I like ignoring people when I feel like it.

It pisses me off if the people I ignore keeps bugging me to talk to them when I'm ignoring them.

I ignore alot of people when I'm in the mood to ignore people.

But that doesn't mean I hate you, I just dont want to talk to you for awhile. :)

I dislike people who I'm not close to who wants to talk to me every second of every day. It annoys me.

I hate All Talk No Action people. ATNA.

I love dogs. :D

I'm homo. You should know that anyway.

I dislike noobs who ask me important stuff over texts/msn.

I loathe maths.

I want to fly off as soon as possible.

I will cry if I dont get my visa.

I rebuilded my walls.

But sometimes walls are built not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

Whiny bitches irk me.

I'm studying for the sake of money.

I listen if you call me up just to cry on the phone.

I argue with the people I care for. Or I wont even bother.

I dont bitchfight much anymore. I have a faster way to solve stuff now. Wham.

I hate myself for this doubt.

I know what God gifted to me. Because so many people tell me what god gave me. And I thank god for it. :)

I used to be bulimic.

I used to hate how I looked like. And whenever I looked into the mirror I have the urge to punch myself.

I'm gay. Oh wait I wold you guys.

This post is getting really long. So I shall leave so much random facts for now. :) Live, learn, breathe, eat it. :D Bye.

Loves.

Guys cant handle girls nowadays which is why I feel the lesbian rate keeps increasing. -Jersy Shore.

"Because theres so much to smile about"

"This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, somg go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about." :)

-Marilyn Monroe


Monday, October 4, 2010

DELIMAAAAAAA.

Which to get! Whichwhichwhichhhhh. Help me decide!


Macbook Pro

OR


Tokina 11-16 Lens

AND


Sony Cybershot TX9

Macbook Pro or New lens and a new compact? :(

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Recents. Randoms.

I'm going to go to the drama in ACS tomorrow. :) The three musketeers. So many people told me its boring but I have to go there to support my baby! <3 href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_jnz9390PwAA/TKS9Vh6Zq9I/AAAAAAAABUM/h9qTkooG06E/s1600/DSC_1977.jpg">

:D SHEEESSYY ANOT?! <3 href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_jnz9390PwAA/TKTF2TXb91I/AAAAAAAABUU/F-lFmL-t4Aw/s1600/63301_1626968398958_1379003962_31646178_7458113_n.jpg">

Okay baiiiii peoplee.

We're running outta goodbyes.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Relationships should never come in the way of friendships, and friendships should never come in the way of relationships.

Relationships should never ruin friendships. Friendships should never ruin relationships.

I just talked to my friend who got dumped by his girlfriend because of his friends and I think to myself, why does relationships always come in the way of friendships, and friendships always come in the way of relationships? Cant there be a balance? I think everyone should understand what I'm talking about now, it happened to everyone.

Some people who has relationships totally wipe out their friends. And when they notice we never talked for so long, try remembering how I tried so hard to make conversation but you ignored me because you were too busy with your relationship. Or how about breaking promises because you have a relationship now? I really cant stand people like this. It doesn't mean because you're in love you have to wipe out all of your friendships. Try remembering that friends are forever but relationships are not. And the sad thing is, almost all of my friends are like this.

Another type of people is that their friendships ruin their relationships. Listening to only your friends and not your partner might spell doom for you. You should try to listen to both, friends and your girl/boy friend. To make balance. Yes, you should not wipe your friends out, but not until the point where you wipe your girl/boy friend out.

And to my friend which I talked about this to, stay strong. :)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Sometimes when I think about my life...... I feel like ramming my head into the wall.

And now is one of those moments. Those weak, vulnerable moments which I absolutely abhor. Is the night sky really that powerful? So powerful that I feel like that once the clock shows that its after midnight. Its as if a whole train of negative energy hits me. I dont know why its like this and I cant do anything about it. The moment where I want to sit down and cry. But I cant. Nobody that I can talk to. I'm back, living in my own world despite having so much friends around me. I need someone to talk to. But I cant because I have no idea whats wrong too. So I just answer I dont know, with the sudden overload of negative energy. Even though everyones still awake, still online, it just doesn't feel right anymore. I find it funny that when I say I'm okay. You guys believe me. And I hate being not ok. None of my friend's actually get me anymore, sad to say. but ohwell. what can I do. Except fight my own fight.