Major brats and moving out.

I am finally moving out to boarding! :D I'm pretty depressed but happy at the same time so its like a real mix of emotions. BUT, I am gonna have fun decorating my room HAHA. Its gonna be awesome to be able to like freely take my friends to my room and not need to ask other people etc. It would just be like, LETS GO TO MY ROOM! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Boarding room's are really tiny though but I got a feeling I'm gonna have alot alot of things thrown at me in boarding. And I have to be really smart about it, but nevertheless God will always always be there with me :D And whatthefyuck I'm actually really worried about something HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Inbox me if you wanna know what but yeah I'm actually quite worried :/

And yes everyone in Malaysia, I'm eating well, sleeping well and making friends well. Some people say that I'm awkward around people until they get to know like the real me anyway -.- So stop saying that I'm bloody awkward around people I'm just like that until you get to know me, then I'll make you eat your words, ask anyone in Malaysia/UK ;P I'm quite bloody happy now I had this breakthrough-ish thing tonight and LIFE DOESN'T REALLY SUCK ANYMORE. Just got to have the trust that I'm gonna get through this somehow.

I'm just gonna be like neutral about everything now and not fall hastily into anything. And by the way, totally out of topic but you disgust me. People in Japan, Africa, everywhere are dying of poverty. You're so blessed, so damn blessed to be born with a major silver spoon in your mouth and you're fucking throwing money around like it doesn't matter?! Honestly you disgust me so much. You're such a major brat that just uses money to settle everything. Money cannot buy you real friends. So all the friends that are around you because you bloody pay them to be around you. You make me sick. People like you don't deserve all this.

What are you doing? "Uhm does being nearly run over count?"

Yes, I nearly got run over..... again. This time i could have died in just the matter of seconds. I know it's not funny but YAAAYYYY IM ALIVE. HAHAHAHAHAHHA. I. AM. ALIVE. The last time I went to church I got disturbed by racist betches, and now I nearly died. I fixed the racist people problem by moving like right next to church. literally. But I still have to bus/walk home for the next 3 weeks because I'm not moving in until then. -.- BUT YEAH IM SO GLAD I DIDN'T DIE. HAHAHAHAH.

It went down like this.

I was walking to the busstop with my friend who was accompanying me and there was no cars at the road. so I crossed. my friend suddenly shouted BE CAREFUL LOOK TO YOUR LEFT, YOUR LEFT. He was shouting in cantonese over and over again but I didn't know what left was in Cantonese, I stopped and looked right, there were no cars, so I just continued running like it would save my life. And it did.While I was running from the corner of my eye I saw a car dangerously close so I picked up my pace and ran faster and I was like shouting in my mind I CAN MAKE THIS I CAN MAKE THIS, when I reached the kerb I felt the wind of a car whiz past me. I was SO RELIEVED that I didn't die. I started jumping around and laughing like a mad person because I was so damn relieved that I didn't get run over by that stupid car. My friend walked over and was like WTF I WAS SO SCARED. I WAS SO PREPARED TO BRING YOU TO THE HOSPITAL. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

And when I told my friend's their like, told you not to go to church. Should have came with us to go and have fun -.- I'm still glad I turned away their offer anyway. I cant help it but HECKYEAHHHHH IM ALIVE.

I'm going to smell like alcohol and cigarettes.

You're way too young to be broken,
You're way too young to fall apart,
You're way too young to play these games,

You know you're way too young to have someone lie to you,
But you better start.

I am young,
I drink and I fight and I love just because I'm numb,
Sleeping in a bed and waking up outside
At least I can say I tried
Think I found a message in a bottle
It says “Drink me, drown your sorrows."

Drink the poison lightly
Cuz' there are deeper and darker things than you
I know, cuz' I've been there too
I know it might seem frightening
To have the world fall apart right under your shoes
Trust me, you'll make it through, because I'm here too.

If life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show it 1000 reasons to smile.

Adrian Wong,
Hi whore, Thanks for making me smile when I was depressed and getting eye damage cuz of me LOL. If I were in Malaysia I would slap you I swear because of the last thing you just told me. But I'm too far away. So thanks anyway you manwhore. :P

Oh and Seng hoo!! Thanks for using my pictures! Means alot! :)
http://senghooooo.blogspot.com/2011/02/yesterday.html

#1. I'm going to stop swearing.

SLAP me whenever I swear. Thanks.

You know when your life feels like its a mess?

I feel like that now. I seriously do not know what the fuck is wrong with me. Someone please come and tell me. I don't really be sad here. Because if I really do be sad, I dont really have friend's to go to. Well I do, but their all like in London. So its kinda sad sometimes, so I just dont allow myself to feel any depression whatsoever. And tonight, I dont know why, all my doubts and fears just came rushing out. Everything I kept pushing down. And I didn't really know what to do, so I just sat there zoned out. Like What if I disappoint my parents?! What if I do stuff that I'm still illegal to?! What if... I really. really don't know. And suddenly my life just felt totally pointless. Like why the hell am I even doing man. What the fuck will happen to me? Will I just be like lost and wandering the whole time, or get swallowed and give in to peer pressure. I don't really know who I am anymore. Fuck it man I totally lost what I used to be. And I want it back. So badly. I totally just felt like a fucking failure. I fail in life.

I don't want to be what the world wants me to be. Eventhough I'm slowly falling into temptation, I'm really glad that I didn't leave to go drinking and partying when there was nobody to open the doors to youth and I was just standing there in the cold. Some kinda accomplishment perhaps. But I really don't know what to do. Heck I don't even know what to do tomorrow ._. FML. I give the fuck up. I'm just gonna let life win until I stop being so depressed and shit.

I need a really big hug :(

Time.

I'm blogging from my phone now ;) Blackberry pwns :D in the longass bus ride to school. anyww, I'm actually quite scared, terrified in fact. Scared is an understatement -.- TODAY's Friday! FRIDAY. Time is passing SO quicky! Every week I say the same thing to myself "omg its effing Friday already?!" In Malaysia its like why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?! Probably its cuz of my thinking, its like omg its Monday -.- but then I think, oh wait, no, its going to be And here its exactly the opposite so, wtf?! Its like I"'ve been here for 2 months now! And a few days hahahaha. And every week passes so quickly in my world, and sooner or later its gonna be october and I'll have to sit for my iGCSE's. :( I realized that wow, time is PRECIOUSSSSS. Once it runs away there's no getting that back. Probably didn't learn that in Malaysia because there's too many distractions for me to study LOL. My attention span is like a burning match. Attention lapses :P until the point where I pay attention in class but my face doesn't look like I am and I get shit from teachers. -.-
Its like "OOOHHH SHINY" Concentration Gone. I'm a very easy distracted person. Bahahahah. So I must find someway to make time not move so quickly LOL.

Exams are up in 21 days. Which is like, 3 weeks. Hopefully I can cover everything :(. I have really cute chemistry and bio note books which all the notes I wrote myself. And wtf I lost my old bio notebook. I think someone stole it cuz I lost my locker key. Enjoy my book you fucktard. I hope you think of how long I used to write my notes and made it look so interesting and pretty. Bitch.

I miss London! :(

GAH. I might have to sell my Enrique Iglesias ticket because of bloody exams. Frustrated ass now. I miss LONDONNNNNNNNN. Went there for 2 weeks consecutively. It's kinda depressing that I cant go there for like another month now. :(

MAROON 5 BABY ;)

Like out of all the alcohol I had, this is probs my favourite. Awesome stuff.

OH and this! :D

Made rocky road! :D With marshmallows, dolly mixture, sour snakes, maltesers and fruit pastilles. ITS AWESOME. Overkill with the sticky fruit pastilles though. I make killer rocky road now and its actually fairly easy. FAIRLY. LOL. Because I didnt do the spreading burning hot chocolate all over it part. I MAKE AWESOME CREAMY MASH TOO HAHAHAHA. Self absorbed much but hey people enjoyed it ;)

Cny Lou sang fail. Why are we doing a cny tradition after cny????!! LOL

The London game! No shame of putting this horrible picture here since Mr. David Tearn has already put it on facebook. -.- I LOVE this boardgame but it was SO DAMN FRUSTRATING. The whole table was like swearing and shouting at each other LOL. That was how I looked like halfway through The London game. It was THAT bad. Jo was like hmmm, this is a very well mannered version of this game LOL.

Trying on uke #3450. I saw this solid Mahagony Hamano uke which I really liked, which is like shit expensive I could've got it but decided not to. ._. Might as well spend the money on something like food and buy this sometime else sicne I already have one.

Sara Brielles! Or however you spell her name. LOL. She even sang forget you! Uncensored. ;)

WARM house, awesome company, board games, alcohol, staying in bed until 4, bathing at 3am, having lunch at 5pm, dinner at 11pm, shopping, going out for a movie at 12am then ended up cleaning the house and being too tired and lazy to move, leeching off my beloved sister :P, TESCO'S, NOT SO windy weather etc etc. BE RIGHT BACK IN A MONTH.

Hugs are like boomerangs, you get one back straight away.

Elena Liew original! :) And for the rest of the world who has no idea where this is in facebook. Its in WALL PHOTOS. So stop asking me okay? ;)

Because when you're so stressed and sad, all you need to feel is the warmth of a persons body and hands wrapped around you to take it all away in that tiny moment. Hugs, they are a way to tell a person you love them, without telling them.

Hypocrisy.

Sometimes, I feel like such a bloody hypocrite. I'm the kid, who constantly cheer people up, posting and writing inspirational stuff, hoping to make someone's day, and I can't even take my own bloody advice. Why. Why is it so hard? Why is it so easy to make someone elses day, but not your own. Why is it so easy to say it's going to be okay to someone else, when you dont know how much the problem is taking a toll on them. Dear brain. Please take your own advice. Thank you.

The scars on her hand, are how much you broke her heart. OK I FIND IT EXTREMELY STUPID THAT PEOPLE WOULD CUT THEMSELVES FOR A BOY! SERIOUSLY! You are BEAUTIFUL. And it hurts to see you cry and not be able to be by your side. Especially when you're crying over jackasses like him. Why would you want to be sad for someone who wont be sad for you? Why would you want to waste your time and beauty like that! Honestly woman. Think. Is it worth it? Is it worth the pain? Is it worth the heartache? Is it worth the scars? THINK. Because I won't stand here seeing you kill yourself slowly.

I sure as hell wont.

Have you ever been in love?

Elena Liew original picture :D

Have you ever been in love?

Horrible isn't it?

It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I hate love.

Goodbye sucks.

Well, as many of you guys know, I'm leaving Malaysia to far far away to a cold foreign country which is 9859827591857093570+ miles away. And my friends, they play an important role in my life. Whole holiday, I've just been avoiding them until the last 2 weeks. Everyday, I make up excuses to not go and see them because I'm afraid I'll miss them too much. I call this, distancing. Well there are a few friends which I didn't distance myself from. But most of them I did. My awesome classmates threw me a surprise farewell :) I thought I was going for a surprise party turns out that it doubles as a farewell too! Hahaahahhaa. The farewell defo ended in tears before I left but it wasn't that bad. So thank God I distanced. :D But still, theres still that pang that the word Goodbye gives. Furthermore its goodbye for such a long time. I'll miss some people in Ipoh like #^@$^$%!#$!$* no question to that. :( But one of my clasmates, said something really really awesome.

Sze Min: 我们不要哭着欢送Elena好吗? 我们要开心的欢送她...
只给她留下我们美好,疯狂的回忆,不要给她留下我们伤心,难过的样子做回忆.

It translates to, lets not cry to see Elena go, we should be happy as we see her go, only leave with her a happy, crazy memory, not to let her see our crying, sad faces to be her last memory of us before she leaves. Heck I'm crying as I type this :')

But well, yes. May me leaving be with minimal tears :D Rather than crying seeing me go why not smile and anticipate the time I come back? :)

Surprise farewell '10 @ airport in De garderns.

My classmates threw me a surprise farewell. They booked a room in airport for me :) It was defo very memorable, eventhough it ended in tears, but I had alot of fun nontheless :D 2P8, Iloveyouguys. Dont you all ever EVER forget that, or me :P

Thanks for taking the time to fold all these hearts for me guys, must have took ages!

Thanks for all the gifts :)

Thanks for everything 2P8, from coaching me maths, to listening to my horrible singing everyday in class, to just being awesome. :)

New Years.

WOW ITS 1.1.2011. Like 9.9.2009, 10,10,2010 OR 2.4.2010, 2.5.2010 ITS THE ONLY DATE THAT WOULD HAPPEN IN THE WORLD WOW. -.- I really dont get it. I didnt get hyped this new years at all? So I just decided to cancel all my plans for New years eve and spend a quiet new years at home :) I'm kinda pissed that I'm a year older though so the WOW factor when I tell people my age isnt that strong :P This New Years imma not make no resolutions because I never stick to them and its the same thing anyway. Well imma take a trip down memory lane for 2010.

2010 was defo a very very fast year. It zoomed past really really fast. But 2010 was not a really good year for me. It was shit. Well kinda shit but there were good points too. Imma just hope that 2011 would be amazing :)

Things I did in 2010

-Met God, became a Christian.

-Went through the shittiest period of my life.

-Made amazing friends that helped me through my shitty period and I will be forever grateful to these people.

-As stated, made awesome awesome friends :D

-Lost some close friends. :(

-Became vulnerable. But I fixed myself up ;)

-Broke that wall around my heart.

-Got married errr..... 3 times! :D

-Became gay.

-Failed my maths paper.

-Redeemed myself on my next maths paper eventhough I was 2 bloody marks away from an A.

-Plan to begin a new life.

-Got effed up badly by some people.

-Picked up the ukulele, learnt to play the ukulele and currently loves the ukulele :D

-MADE SHITASTIC FRIENDS.

-Got a new hairstyle, I finally lost my bangs after 13 years of the same hairstyle.

-Changed my perspective on myself.

-Stopped running about so much in school.

-Played paintball.

-Got ill quite alot.

-Lost people special to me.

-Converted into a Mac user.

-Knocked alot alot more sense into myself compared to 2009.

So thats all I have achieved in 2010! :D Well 2011 better be amazing. I'm going to have a new life, new country, new friends, new culture, new.... everything. I'm quite looking foward to see what 2011 will hold. And I got a feeling that God will make it amazing for me :)